
Christina Lisk
I remember many beautiful things about Philadelphia Pride 2018. Mamma Mia had come to town, and the performers were marching in the parade. Their routines were vibrant, as though the streets were a makeshift stage, and all the world was invited. In my red skinny jeans and my rainbow wing scarf, I stood on the sidelines, keeping up with their routine as best as I could. It was my first Pride in years, the previous two stolen by a combination of undiagnosed Lyme disease, and pineapple-induced anaphylaxis. With an antibiotic under my belt and a newfound freedom in my joints, I was finally free to interlace my identities: pansexual, disabled, performer at heart. By my side was a close friend from college, her best friend from Atlanta, her girlfriend, and the girlfriend’s roommate: a Jewish nonbinary disabled cat lover with a knack for poetry and a love for the word “Jawn.” For all the wonderful visuals about Philadelphia Pride 2018, the one I remember the best is the sugar rush of being side-by-side with The Roommate. Pride is always a powerful recognition, but especially so when it is celebrated with someone who stole your heart away.
It had been a couple of months since they and I first met, sitting across from each other at a sushi dinner with my friend and her girlfriend. The Roommate was hard of hearing like myself, bringing a silent understanding to the conversation from the start. Anytime I needed something repeated, they were happy to oblige, and we always made an effort to ensure the other was heard. On the way back to my friend’s apartment after dinner, that was when I first felt their hands. The part of me still wrestling with internalized ableism told myself, “it’s impossible for something to be there, you’re just imagining things, no one could ever want you.” No amount of internalized ableism, however, could change the flutters I felt when their hands met mine or the smile I couldn’t take off my face. Back at my friend’s apartment, after dinner was over, she said something that still rings clear in my mind.
“This is the most relaxed I have ever seen you around someone you like.” [continue reading…]